For the past several years, Ve’ondre Mitchell has openly shared her queer journey, triumphs and struggles on the internet for all to hear. The 19-year-old came out as trans when she was in elementary school and since has crafted her own path, transcending the limitations of the small town she was born in. Her openness and honesty about her experiences as a trans woman have helped break down barriers and stigmas surrounding young trans people.
She has built a following of more than 6.6 million on TikTok alone. Her podcast, Don’t Ask Ve’ That, which recently launched, serves as a longer forum for her to tell her story and help guide others going through similar things. Through her work, Mitchell has created a community of support and love that encourages young people to “live their truth in their trans youth.”
OFM chatted with Mitchell, who is represented by Social Café Agency, about her internet presence, coming out story and her new podcast.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Can you tell me your coming-out story?
Being a girl is something that I always knew from my heart, ever since I was born. I think just whenever I had a conscience, I could feel that I would lean towards things that just were more feminine, and I sort of felt out-of-body. I really just didn’t have the words to explain it. And my mom is somebody who’s very experienced with the queer community. But I would just tell her things that were a little alarming to her, that I just was feeling discomfort and out-of-body with myself. And a lot of the things I was saying were sort of like a clear consensus that I maybe wasn’t a boy. But at first, she kind of thought that I was more of just somebody who was a gay boy and more feminine.
And as I kind of grew older and got the vernacular to talk about what I was feeling, she helped me understand, just putting sort of a label on what I was feeling. And so, before I could even say that I was trans, she was going to trans support groups in our local city. She was doing research so she could further learn how to support me. And she’s a single mother, so she didn’t really have somebody telling her what not to do in certain situations. So it gave her more leverage to, in a sense, accept her child without another person being in your ear.
I believe I came out to my mom when I was, like, 4, but I didn’t really have the courage to actually, like, come out until I was 7 just because just being out in society, it was a little hard for me. But I finally developed the courage to do so in about 3rd grade. And I just decided to present outwardly as a girl to the world.
When you first started posting on social media and building up this following, were you very open about your journey and your trans identity? Or was that something you kind of tapped into later on in having social media?
It was later on. I’m somebody who’s always been on social media, successful or not. I would be on YouTube when I was in middle school, just doing little funny challenges and just doing whatever the trends were. And that kind of got me a start on how to even maneuver social media in general. But as I got on TikTok, that’s mainly when it started blowing up.
I have been doing little comedy videos, skits and whatever. But I started talking about my trans identity and the struggles that I go through later on. And these are stuff that I talk about in the real world versus online because my mom ended up taking me to those support groups—sort of just like having me talk with the kids and then talk to the new kids that are coming out. So we could sort of just pass on the unheard information that we had, because I was somebody who was getting on hormones at a young age. And I was one of the first kids who was really going through that, at least at that young of an age and there wasn’t much studies being done. So just talking to other people would help us kind of see what we could do and go further with, at least for medical care.
But talking about that online started, I believe I had 30,000 {followers}, and that’s when I was like, OK, I have a little bit of a platform now, and I want to start using it for what I talk about in my in-person life, and now I’m getting to launch my podcast with at least the same topics but talking about it with all different walks of life.
How different is it, having a podcast and talking about things for an hour versus a TikTok and talking about the same issues but for under a minute?
Honestly, it’s so much better to really dissect it. Because in the past, a lot of people would critique me for my “hot takes,” that were just taboo activism at the time. And I think it was because of the lack of context people had or understanding of my story. If you’re not willing to hear after that little snippet that you had, you know, you already have an idea of me, and you already have your stereotypes and stigmas you’re pushing on me. So they’re not willing to hear you out. But with my podcast, it’s been a lot different because I can fully divulge into my story. So it’s been great in that sense. I honestly wish after my pilot that I could have even longer episodes because I feel like there’s just so much to talk about and so much levels and layers to the onion of this topic of being trans. There’s so much to talk about. At least this hour is a good starting point for really getting into the deep of it.
What are some main topics that you want to talk about on the podcast?
I just did body shaming. I want to talk more about trans kids. I talked about that with my mom, coming up. So I talked to her about how she raised me and her thought process through it. Because I know my story, but it’s easy, or it’s nice to hear from somebody who had a clear conscious point of view, compared to somebody who was developing. I want to talk about hormones. I want to talk about sports that are going on with the trans community currently. I want to talk about being of an intersectional identity and how my cultures have kind of been stripped away from me because of unaccepting family. And I want to talk about relationships and dating. So there’s so many different things that I could talk about being of a trans identity because there’s so much people don’t know about.
Who are some guests that you’re either wanting to have on or already booked and are looking forward to?
If I get picked up after the pilot, I would love to have Kim Petras; we’ve been talking about it. So hopefully, that would be great because I just loved how she’s been such a trailblazer for the community, winning her Grammy, being on Sports Illustrated. I would love Laverne Cox because I’m really inspired by her podcast that she has with iHeartRadio. And I would really love to have Jazz {Jennings} as well. Because Laverne Cox and Jazz were people that I looked up to when I was a little kid. Sort of Jazz as we were growing up together, and then Laverne actually had already had her story been happening. Honestly, I did not have a lot of representation, so it’d be great to talk to those that I did sort of look up to.
You said that you didn’t have a lot of representation growing up, and now I feel like you are the representation for a lot of people younger than you. How does that feel?
It feels like a lot of pressure at times, but I’m willing to take it on. It makes me more happy than anything that I am such representation for a lot of people. And I honestly put the pressure on myself to kind of fully be myself at all times. Because, I don’t know, I feel like if I’m faking it, then people are gonna have a false reality of who I am. I used to kind of conceal my Black beauty that would be suppressed in my small town that was majority white people. And just being the minority, it’s already hard to identify, especially as a mixed person with all of my identities, being Latin and Black. So just being honest, like, I am somebody who grew up with, I don’t know, lack of contact with my family. So it’s led me to not know so much about my cultures. And I think there’s also a lot of other mixed people out there who struggle with that. So, you know, just sort of being honest and real about how I maneuver the world and how I get along with different communities, feeling out-of-body with them.
What’s some advice that you would give to young trans people of color who are kind of going through similar things that you were going through when you first started identifying as trans?
I’d say to talk about it with people that you feel closest to, and that doesn’t always have to be family. I know that family isn’t always supportive, especially if you are somebody who is of another minority group, that is, a person of color. Just at times, our communities, in a sense, are trying to even be accepted by the majority in the world. So adding on being queer is scary for them. So don’t take it too personally when you are unaccepted from them, and to continue to be as sure of yourself. Because it is taboo in the world, we are in right now, but it won’t be in years to come. But at this time, that’s just kind of the cards we’ve been dealt with. So in that sense, just continue to be yourself. No matter how many people tell you, you can’t.
